The Russian wordplay jokes about Stierlitz - the Russian James Bond - are among the funniest, but are considered untranslatable. But are they really untranslatable? Being a big fan of my language and Stierlitz jokes, I recently attempted to translate a few of them to English:

До Штирлица не дошло письмо из центра. Он его еще раз перечитал, но все равно не дошло.

Bond didn't get an order from the MI6 headquarters. He read it again, but still did not get it.

Штирлиц с пистолетом шел по лесу и напоролся на сук. Суки с визгом разбежались.

Wearing a big gun, Bond wandered along a shore and saw beaches. Screaming, they run away.

Идя по тропинке вдоль леса, Штирлиц увидел необычную картину - голубые ели. Подойдя к ним поближе, Штирлиц заметил, что они еще и пили.

On his way to work, Bond realised he was going to face a bunch of tough queries. He pulled out his gun, and the queers run away.

Штирлиц вошел в кабинет, открыл сейф и вытащил оттуда записку Бормана. Борман отчаяно сопротивлялся.

Bond entered his office, opened the safe, and grabbed Q's tool there. Hearing violent screams, Bond remarked, "You shouldn't have hidden in my safe, Q."

Do you know any good translations of wordplay jokes about Stierlitz?

  • 6
    Questions like this are off topic for this site, but your translations are actually quite good!
    – Quassnoi
    May 16, 2019 at 22:17


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